Celine's POV:
We hadn't planned anything on that night but I wanted to surprise Rene with a dinner. Everybody knew I wasn't a great cook at this time but I wanted to have a romantic night with him. I knew he would come home a little bit later so I had time for cooking.
When it was 9 pm the food was ready and I set table beautifully. Everything was ready in the kitchen so I decided to change a dress on and put some makeup on. I put my red dress which showed my legs and I curled my hair. When I was ready I went back to downstairs. Everything was perfect for Rene so I had to just wait for him. It was almost 10 pm and I knew he would come any time soon. I put couple candles on the table and lighted them on. I walked into the living room and put music on. It wasn't special day for us but Rene was working really hard and he was stressed with all his work. I wanted to have a romantic night and take all his stress away. "Taller than the tallest tree is that's how it's got to feel. Deeper than the deep blue sea is that's how deep it goes - if its real" I sang with Frank and danced a little. I knew this night would be perfect, just two of us.
It was already 11 pm and I didn't know where Rene was. He didn't answered my calls or messages. Food was cold and I put out the candles and switched off the music. I knew Rene didn't know what I had planned but I still was hurt. I didn't bother to take off plates so I just left them on the table.
When I was about to go to the upstairs I heard how door opened and I turned to face the door. "Sorry, today went later than I expected" Rene said with a surprised look. I wanted him to look like this but earlier when food was hot and music was playing. "Yeah, whatever" I turned my back to him and took a step when I heard Rene's voice. "Is something happened?" I wanted to yell at him all my anger away and tell how I was waiting for him almost three hours to come home but I couldn't. "Nothing..." I answered and continued my way to upstairs. He took his jacket off and walked to the kitchen. I tried to hear what he was doing but I didn't hear anything. Finally I heard his steps and I started to walk stairs again. "Did you have a nice dinner with someone?" he joked and I turned to face him. That was the last thing what he should say right now. I was so done with his jokes and his incredibly beautiful smile. "Actually I planned nice and romantic night for me and my husband and surprise him but he didn't even bother to answer the damn phone!" I raised my voice a little and Rene looked surprised. "Honey, I had work to d-" "You always have! You don't do anything else than just work and work and work!" I cut him off and I came downstairs to stood right in front of him. "You're always working with me or not! We don't have any time together and if we do have sometime, we are working!" I let all the anger go away. "But I'm your manager for God sake!" Rene looked at me with disappointment in his eye. "But you are my fucking husband as well!" I pushed him and walked into the kitchen. Rene stayed there for a little time and then walked after me. "You know I have to do my job. What's the problem here? Do I work too much?" Rene asked while I put all plates back to the cupboard. "You work all the time. You're stressed all the time. We don't do anything together anymore" I looked him for a second and continued cleaning up the kitchen. "But you knew what it will be to be with your manager" Rene said calmly and leaned on the table. "But I didn't want this! I wanted to marry the man I love! Not only my manager who works his ass off! Who comes home late at night and go to sleep right away!" I was done. I couldn't be in the same room with him.
I put everything down from my hands and walked away from kitchen. "I'm sorry" Rene started but I didn't want to hear it anymore. "I don't care" I said and walked past him when he grabbed my arm and stopped me. I pulled my arm off of him and looked at his sad eyes. "Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. I'm done and I don't want to hear it" I walked to upstairs and I heard how Rene came after me. "What should I do? What the hell should I do then Celine?" Rene raised his voice and I turned around. His eyes were wet and it was too much for me. Tears filled my eyes even I tried to suck them back. I couldn't cry now. I wanted him to listen to me and understand what was wrong. "Listen" I said with a weak voice and I wiped my tears. "As long as I've known you I've admire how hard worker you are. I'm very thankful and I'm proud of you and I respect you and your work very much..." Rene came closer but I took a step back. I looked his eyes and saw how sorry he was. "But I need you! I need a man who I love more than anything else in this damn planet! Do you understand? I love you and I want to have time with you!" I yelled tears in my eyes. "I would fucking give all I am to you! Would you do the same for me? I want to share my life with you! Not only my career and success! I want you! I need you! I can't do this any longer so you have to decide Rene! You have to decide what do you want!" I totally collapsed and Rene ran to me. He took me in his arms and hold me close to his body. I pulled my face into his neck and cried. It was loud and ugly crying but it didn't matter at this time. I had said all the things to my husband what I had wanted to say so long time and only that mattered.
And there we were, on the floor. I was sobbing and Rene petting my back and kissing my forehead. "Nothing else, not even me, matter to me as much as you do" Rene whispered to my ear and it made me sobbing even more. "I didn't realize how much it bothered you but I will stop it. I promise I won't work as much as I'm working right now. And I promise I will be more with you" he cupped my face on his gentle hands and looked straight into my eyes. "I would and I will give all I am to you and I want to share my life with you too. I need you Celine" after those words he kissed my lips and wiped my tears. I didn't planned our night something like this but in the end it was worth it.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Depression
Celine's POV:
I woke up and everything felt the same like yesterday. I felt like I couldn't do anything and I changed my side to face the window. Rene has said I should got up from bed but I didn't feel I could do it. I just wanted to be in my bed and sleep. I heard how someone knocked and opened the door. "Mom?" I heard RC's voice and I slowly faced him. "Yes darling" I tried to sound like I normally do when I talk to him. "Are you coming to see my baseball game?" he asked with a hope in his eyes. I didn't want to let him down but I couldn't get up. "I'm sorry darling but I think I can't come on this time" as I said that I saw how a little hope in his eyes was gone. I have said 'I can't come in this time' many times before and he knew that. "Okay" he tried to smile and slowly closed the door. I felt more shit after that but it doesn't matter anymore. I was so tired for doing anything. Sometimes I felt I was too tired even breathe. I turned to face the window again and closed my eyes.
Rene's POV:
After Celine gave birth twins she has been like this. A couple of days she was like she always is, happy and energetic. But after those days she changed a lot and actually I've never seen her like this. Therese said this will go away and it's just postnatal depression but it really scared me. Rene-Charles was worried about Celine and even he didn't tell me about it, I could saw how he missed his mom. Twins needed their mother as well and I couldn't just watch Celine sleeping and crying all day long, every single day.
RC came from our bedroom to downstairs with tears in his eyes. I knew what was wrong but I wanted to help my son. "She said no?" I asked and RC sat next to me. He just nodded and watched TV. Therese came with Nelson and Linda came with Eddy. "Isn't Celine got up today?" Therese asked and sat on the couch. I shook my head. "She will be better any time soon when she realizes how amazing husband and children she has" Linda tried to make me feel better and I gave a small smile. "I think I should go to talk to her" I said and looked at Therese like asking a permission. She nodded and I got up.
I took a deep breathe and opened our bedroom door. First I didn't see Celine anywhere and I scared the worst. Then I heard water from our bathroom and it calmed me down. Celine opened bathroom's door and I saw how she has been crying. "Mon amour..." I whispered and she walked right into my arms. I knew she hasn't eaten but now I realized it when I felt how small she actually was. "You have to eat something my love" I kissed her forehead and took her hair away from her face. "I'm not hungry, I just want to go to sleep" she was about to go to bed but I didn't let her. "Celine, you can't keep sleeping every day, all day long. You have family, you remember?" I felt how tears fell from her cheeks and I held her tightly. "I can't do it Rene! I can't be a mom!" she cried into my neck and I tried do comfort her. "Of course you can Celine. You are the best mom I've ever seen and your boys loves you so very much. I love you Celine and we all need you" I cupped her beautiful face in my hands. "Do you hear me? We all love you and we need you" I looked into her tired and wet eyes. I kissed her soft lips and she kissed me back. After we broke to catch our breathes she leaned on my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck. "If I promise I will get up tomorrow, can I go back to bed now?" I heard her weak voice. I thought it for a few seconds because I really wanted to see my old beautiful and life-loving wife back. "Sure" I smiled and kissed her forehead. She walked slowly into our bed and I closed the door after me.
*10 hours later*
Rene's POV:
When I feed twins with Linda and put them to sleep I went to RC's room to watch how he was doing. "Can I come?" I knocked and opened the door. "Yes" RC said and I walked and sat next to him on his bed. "I know you are worried about mom and you miss her but I promise she will be back soon, okay?" I looked at my son and saw how much he looked like my wife. "Yeah, I guess so" RC said quietly. "Come here" I said and hugged him tightly. "Your mom loves you very much and you have to give her a little time" I felt how RC hugged me back and how he leaned his head on my shoulder. "Thanks dad" he whispered and I smiled.
After I wished the good nights to RC and Therese and Linda I went to our bedroom. I sneaked into our bed and felt how Celine wrapped her arms around me. "I missed you" I heard her quiet voice. "I missed you too" I whispered and pulled her close to me. I stroked her back and felt how easily she fell asleep in my arms. After a little while I fell asleep as well.
*2 weeks later*
Celine's POV:
I woke up and everything felt the same like usually. I felt like I could do everything and I changed my side to face Rene's side. He was already woken up and I heard how someone knocked and opened the door. "Mom?" I heard RC's voice and I smiled. "Yes darling, come here" I said and he walked towards me. "Did you sleep well?" Rene-Charles sat next to me and I kissed his cheek. "Yes I did" he smiled. "What were you asking?" I asked and he got up. "Are you coming to see my baseball game today?" he asked with a hope in his eyes. I took his hand in mine and I got up as well. "Of course I'm coming" and I saw how this little hope in his eyes changed for happiness. "Shall we go to eat some breakfast?" I opened the door and we went to downstairs.
RC ran towards Rene and told smiling how I was going to see his game today. Mom and Linda was already eaten twins and I made a cup of coffee for myself. "Good morning" I felt Rene's arms around my waist and smile came to my face. "Good morning" I turned around and pecked his lips. "So you are coming to RC's game today, right?" I drank my coffee and nodded. "Of course I'm coming" I kissed Rene's cheek and went to see Eddy and Nelson who were more than excited to see their mom.
I woke up and everything felt the same like yesterday. I felt like I couldn't do anything and I changed my side to face the window. Rene has said I should got up from bed but I didn't feel I could do it. I just wanted to be in my bed and sleep. I heard how someone knocked and opened the door. "Mom?" I heard RC's voice and I slowly faced him. "Yes darling" I tried to sound like I normally do when I talk to him. "Are you coming to see my baseball game?" he asked with a hope in his eyes. I didn't want to let him down but I couldn't get up. "I'm sorry darling but I think I can't come on this time" as I said that I saw how a little hope in his eyes was gone. I have said 'I can't come in this time' many times before and he knew that. "Okay" he tried to smile and slowly closed the door. I felt more shit after that but it doesn't matter anymore. I was so tired for doing anything. Sometimes I felt I was too tired even breathe. I turned to face the window again and closed my eyes.
Rene's POV:
After Celine gave birth twins she has been like this. A couple of days she was like she always is, happy and energetic. But after those days she changed a lot and actually I've never seen her like this. Therese said this will go away and it's just postnatal depression but it really scared me. Rene-Charles was worried about Celine and even he didn't tell me about it, I could saw how he missed his mom. Twins needed their mother as well and I couldn't just watch Celine sleeping and crying all day long, every single day.
RC came from our bedroom to downstairs with tears in his eyes. I knew what was wrong but I wanted to help my son. "She said no?" I asked and RC sat next to me. He just nodded and watched TV. Therese came with Nelson and Linda came with Eddy. "Isn't Celine got up today?" Therese asked and sat on the couch. I shook my head. "She will be better any time soon when she realizes how amazing husband and children she has" Linda tried to make me feel better and I gave a small smile. "I think I should go to talk to her" I said and looked at Therese like asking a permission. She nodded and I got up.
I took a deep breathe and opened our bedroom door. First I didn't see Celine anywhere and I scared the worst. Then I heard water from our bathroom and it calmed me down. Celine opened bathroom's door and I saw how she has been crying. "Mon amour..." I whispered and she walked right into my arms. I knew she hasn't eaten but now I realized it when I felt how small she actually was. "You have to eat something my love" I kissed her forehead and took her hair away from her face. "I'm not hungry, I just want to go to sleep" she was about to go to bed but I didn't let her. "Celine, you can't keep sleeping every day, all day long. You have family, you remember?" I felt how tears fell from her cheeks and I held her tightly. "I can't do it Rene! I can't be a mom!" she cried into my neck and I tried do comfort her. "Of course you can Celine. You are the best mom I've ever seen and your boys loves you so very much. I love you Celine and we all need you" I cupped her beautiful face in my hands. "Do you hear me? We all love you and we need you" I looked into her tired and wet eyes. I kissed her soft lips and she kissed me back. After we broke to catch our breathes she leaned on my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck. "If I promise I will get up tomorrow, can I go back to bed now?" I heard her weak voice. I thought it for a few seconds because I really wanted to see my old beautiful and life-loving wife back. "Sure" I smiled and kissed her forehead. She walked slowly into our bed and I closed the door after me.
*10 hours later*
Rene's POV:
When I feed twins with Linda and put them to sleep I went to RC's room to watch how he was doing. "Can I come?" I knocked and opened the door. "Yes" RC said and I walked and sat next to him on his bed. "I know you are worried about mom and you miss her but I promise she will be back soon, okay?" I looked at my son and saw how much he looked like my wife. "Yeah, I guess so" RC said quietly. "Come here" I said and hugged him tightly. "Your mom loves you very much and you have to give her a little time" I felt how RC hugged me back and how he leaned his head on my shoulder. "Thanks dad" he whispered and I smiled.
After I wished the good nights to RC and Therese and Linda I went to our bedroom. I sneaked into our bed and felt how Celine wrapped her arms around me. "I missed you" I heard her quiet voice. "I missed you too" I whispered and pulled her close to me. I stroked her back and felt how easily she fell asleep in my arms. After a little while I fell asleep as well.
*2 weeks later*
Celine's POV:
I woke up and everything felt the same like usually. I felt like I could do everything and I changed my side to face Rene's side. He was already woken up and I heard how someone knocked and opened the door. "Mom?" I heard RC's voice and I smiled. "Yes darling, come here" I said and he walked towards me. "Did you sleep well?" Rene-Charles sat next to me and I kissed his cheek. "Yes I did" he smiled. "What were you asking?" I asked and he got up. "Are you coming to see my baseball game today?" he asked with a hope in his eyes. I took his hand in mine and I got up as well. "Of course I'm coming" and I saw how this little hope in his eyes changed for happiness. "Shall we go to eat some breakfast?" I opened the door and we went to downstairs.
RC ran towards Rene and told smiling how I was going to see his game today. Mom and Linda was already eaten twins and I made a cup of coffee for myself. "Good morning" I felt Rene's arms around my waist and smile came to my face. "Good morning" I turned around and pecked his lips. "So you are coming to RC's game today, right?" I drank my coffee and nodded. "Of course I'm coming" I kissed Rene's cheek and went to see Eddy and Nelson who were more than excited to see their mom.
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